Just received a brochure called
“The Science of Happiness.” The brochure states that one can discover research
tested keys to happiness and learn how to apply them to personal and
professional life by taking these groundbreaking courses. They stated that up
to 40% of happiness depended on habits and activities. However, one could also turn to religion to
find happiness. Surveys conducted by Gallup and others concluded that high
religiousness predicted lower risks of depression, drug use, fewer suicide attempts, reported satisfaction with sex life ,and a
sense of well-being. Do you agree that Science and religion have the answer to
happiness?
Within the historical evolution
and development of capitalism, we have been “sold” a bill of goods- fame and
fortune. We have been mesmerized and hypnotized by those who tell us such
things as the following: 1. Go to college. 2. Get married. 3. Have children. 4.
Buy that dream house with the right zip code 5. The man with the bigger toys
wins 6. Go on a cruise or go to some exotic vacation land, 7. Get that latest
automobile 8. Drink beer, go to parties 9. Attend that special professional
sports game 10. Visit that four-star restaurant 11. Dress in the latest
fashion. 12. Purchase that special vitamin or organic food. 13. Make a ton of
money-more is better. The list [advertising
with smiling faces] goes on and on, with the underlying message that money buys
happiness. Other messages are running after power, celebrity status or fame as
far as achieving or searching for happiness. Being elected or becoming a star
or idol is supposed to bring a smile on your face; or finding that particular
fountain of youth product. For many, it
must be clear by now that these things, or
goods don’t necessarily result in long-term happiness because why would
we engage in so many seemingly paradoxical unproductive and self-defeating
irrational behaviors-to name a few, such
as drinking, smoking and eating too much, taking prescription and
nonprescription drugs with deterious
abasement affects. Other escapes include but not limited to entertainment,
reading, movies and sports. A case in point, using Ekman’s facial analysis of
emotions, view the faces
of college basketball and football coaches; NFL football coaches; NBA
basketball coaches and MLB baseball managers during their practice or “real”
games. Seldom do we see a smile, and they say after a victory something to the
effect that, enjoy it while you can, because there’s the next game to think
about. Or for that matter, look at the faces of the presidential candidates
during the debates. Are these individuals really having fun and have they
really found happiness? They have certainly reached elite categories in their
respective fields.
As a psychotherapist, it became
very apparent in my practice that individuals had tremendous difficulty
identifying or labeling their feelings. I found that fact over and over in the
many years of dealing with people therapeutically and even socially. In
essence, individuals generally call their thoughts their feelings. I also know
that we distort reality, as result of our defense mechanisms and illusions.
Typically, individuals believe many things which are often contradictory. So
when, a self-rating, life satisfaction; subjective happiness; or positive and
negative affect scales were used to measure happiness, I roll my eyes and
question the results or findings of such. Remember, that feelings are generally
short-lived and don’t stay or even linger around for a while. Further, many
things or experiences happen to us during our lifetime. And if we agree with
Dr. Ekman, 5 of the 6 feelings or emotions are negative. This would suggest
that there is a preponderance of negative feelings experienced in life compared
to the one positive feeling of happiness. Yes, it’s difficult to avoid negative
feelings. A better way of being might be learning, if we can, to deal more
effectively or differently with our irritations and self-defeating seeking
behaviors.
To be continued
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